You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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