I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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