i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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