I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
