You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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