yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
