I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
