Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
