Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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