So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
