He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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