i wish starbucks made bloody marys
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
