Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
