It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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