i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
