why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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