did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
