he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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