it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
