That's intense
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize