we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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