i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
