i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
