The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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