Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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