Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
