I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
