It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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