Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
