The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
