Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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