Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she peed on how many people?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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