Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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