I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i was born a porn star she said
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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