It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think my fart just growled at me.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we made out on top of his cat.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
