you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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