Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
