is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
