How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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