Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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