They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
