I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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