He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
