just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
