I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
