I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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