I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
