do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
