So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Shame - the story of my life.
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