Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize