i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
