You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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