dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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