She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
