im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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