With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
