She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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