Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
