If i come over, it means nothing
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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