didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
